


You were a vision in the morning when the light came through

by flowerinsnow



Category: Band of Brothers
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, it's all very vanilla tbh, no dubcon, pwp gone wrong
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:35:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22231891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowerinsnow/pseuds/flowerinsnow
Summary: Quite honestly, Lew knew as much about why he wanted to befriend Dick as he knew about why Dick put up with him in turn, which was nothing at all, except that there was this small part of him which hadn’t yet been spoiled by money, prestige or alcohol, that seemed to think it a good idea to stick to Dick’s side.So that’s what he did, all through OCS, Toccoa, Aldbourne and the European Theatre of War.
Relationships: Lewis Nixon/Richard Winters
Comments: 7
Kudos: 53





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I set out to write A/O mating porn and came out with 15k words of whatever self-indulgent hot mess this is. It all went wrong when I decided to do at least a little back story and got intrigued by the thought of alpha women ruling the world, though the worldbuilding does remain shabby, tbh. I've also realized that I can't write porn to save my life. 
> 
> Title is from Halsey's Colors. Go listen to the stripped version if you haven't already, it is quite the revelation.

The smell hit him before he could even open his eyes. It was heady and all-encompassing and went straight to his groin. Groggily, Lew turned around to see that Dick was already awake. This was in itself not unusual, but the flush running down Dick’s sweaty neck and the low whimpering sounds he was making certainly were, especially in the middle of winter.

“Hey, you alright? What’s going on?” Lew asked, his foggy brain not having caught up yet to what his body already knew.

Dick was finally in heat.

* * *

Right from the moment they had met at Ford Benning, there had been something about Richard D. Winters that inexplicably drew Nix towards him. It hadn’t been the fact that Dick had been one of only three omegas in their mostly alpha class – Lewis had never been driven crazy by them like some of his fellow alphas were, his newly-wedded beta wife making that point quite clearly.

Maybe it was the red hair that Lewis would come to tease him about so often in the years to come, maybe it was his quiet dedication to do well, or the glimmer in Dick’s eye, like he knew Lew was full of shit and was looking forward to the challenge of being his friend.

Quite honestly Lew knew as much about why he wanted to befriend Dick as he knew about why Dick put up with him in turn, which was nothing at all, except that there was this small part of him which hadn’t yet been spoiled by money, prestige or alcohol, that seemed to think it a good idea to stick to Dick’s side.

So that’s what he did, all through OCS, Toccoa, Aldbourne and the European Theatre of War.

It had taken him an awful lot of time to realize he was actually in love with Dick. He had attributed the deep feelings of loyalty and admiration he felt for him to the fact that this was his first, real, best friend, who did not just want him for his name, his money or even his charm, but for who he truly was, sardonic attitude and hazardous drinking habit and all. Besides, apart from Sobel, and who cared about that asshole, everybody from Colonel Sink down to the last PFC loved and admired Dick. He was competent and kind and very easy to embarrass, turning a lovely shade of red when teased about his non-existent romantical life.

Lew had never heard Dick talk about sex, romance or love, and supposed that it came from a simple lack of experience or even interest. In turn, Lew didn’t really think about Dick that way either, somehow perceiving him as some ethereal being who was simply above such things. The fact that the suppressants Dick was taking not only quelled an omega’s mating cycle, but also their distinct smell, helped with this. Apart from their figure that was generally supposed to be a bit softer, and if Dick had ever had that softness to him, he’d gotten rid of it long before Lew had met him, it was the only way to outwardly distinguish an omega who still had his pants on from an alpha or beta.

Society, and the army in particular, had very different opinions about them, of course. If you were talking rights and opportunities, being an omega generally wasn’t the best lot to draw in life. Omega women had it especially hard in that regard – though in many countries they had been granted the right to vote along with beta women and omega men by the end of the Great War, they still weren’t allowed to stand for election in any of them. They couldn’t get a job without permission of their husband or father, were excluded not only from the line of succession but any inheritance went to their next non-omega of kin. While beta women often could and were even expected to be active in their local communities, even if it was only to organize the weekly knitting circle, omega women were fully restricted to the sphere of the family and the home, where they were expected to submit to the authority of their husband. Omega men had for a long time faced much of the same prejudices, but when, after the invention of heat suppressants at the turn of the century, they had been let into many of the armies fighting in the Great War, first on a voluntary basis and then on the draft like all other men and alpha women, they had been granted more rights and independence as a result.

Still, most of the real power in society – such as corporate ownership, governmental office and military command - were firmly in the hands of alphas and, to a lesser degree, beta men. Unable to bear or sire children, alpha women had long been outcasts of society, especially in the Middle Ages, but ever since enlightenment, they had gradually established themselves as the savants and intellectuals of their societies, expected to lead them rationally and competently without being distracted by family, sex or love. Though it was an open secret they often took lovers, they were not allowed to marry and only sometimes adopted mostly older children to assure their line of succession. Generally, only such couples able to have children – alpha and beta men with beta women or omegas – were accepted while all others faced punishment or even death upon discovery.

These structures were very much reflected in Easy Company and its chain of command. There were no omega or beta women, since they weren’t allowed in active combat units, even though beta women could volunteer for the WAC and medical corps. The brass was almost entirely made up of alphas and betas, with no omega holding command above battalion level in the entire division. Although there was no rule prohibiting them from rising further through the ranks, it was just not done in reality – many of the higher-ups still weary of omegas, who were only allowed to become officers by 1938. Most of the key officers were alpha women – from Sink over McAuliffe up to Ike. With Strayer and Dike, betas were in charge of 2nd battalion and Easy Company respectively. Most of the company’s officers and NCOs were alphas such as Kitty, Shames and Guarnere or betas like Harry, Randleman and Peacock. With Dick up at Battalion, Buck was the only omega officer left, though since Lipton’s promotion they also had an omega first sergeant.

The delicate construction of power, prejudice, suspicion and opportunity surrounding the whole mess of gender politics in the army were enough to make one’s head spin. Perhaps due to his privileged position of a male alpha, Lew really didn’t spend much time thinking about it in general and not in relation to Dick at all. Dick was his friend, most of all, and everything else didn’t really matter.

This changed when they were encircled by German troops in Bastogne, short on everything from ammunition to winter clothes – and heat suppressants. At first, this wasn’t high on Lew’s list of priorities, finding out where the hell they were and how they were supposed to fend off German tanks with only a couple of machine guns and no air support seeming much more important. Even when, a day into the siege, whisperings started going around that some of the battalion’s omegas would run out of suppressants in a matter of days, Nix didn’t immediately realize that Dick would be affected by this as well.

It was only when he watched Dick talk to Lipton, Martin and some of the other omegas of Easy Company and saw the brief flash of terror flick over his face as he turned away from them that Nixon realized that Dick, too, might go into heat.

The first feeling to run through his entire body was dread. The thought of Dick being stripped of his choices, of being that vulnerable in this desolate ice-cold hell of a place, filled him with even greater worry than when he’d heard that Dick had been hit in Carentan and hadn’t known how bad it was until he’d finally found him, already hobbling around again, looking after his men, only stopping when both Kitty and Lew threatened him bodily harm if he didn’t sit down already and promised him to keep an eye on the men in his stead.

But with the thought of searching for the last pill in the entire godforsaken town if he had to, and, in case they would truly run out, making sure that Dick would be safe, that no one would take advantage of him, also came the thought that he, himself, could take care of Dick in every way he needed and with this the realization that this was something that he _wanted._

The circumstances, of course, were horrible, and he would never force himself on Dick, but once the thought of being with him that way – of kissing, caressing, sleeping with Dick – entered his mind, he couldn’t get it out again. And it wasn’t just that he wanted to have sex with Captain Richard D. Winters, he realized with a jolt, but the fact that what Lewis Nixon III most desired was to share his life and everything in it with this read-headed walking freckle from Lancaster, Pennsylvania. Huh.

Having run out of whiskey a few days ago when he’d given his only remaining flask to Doc Roe, Lew had no way of bullying his mind into forgetting these monumental new insights. In the following days, he did his job like a puppet on a string while wondering what the hell he was supposed to do about it all. Should he tell Dick? And how much? Should he tell him that he might’ve been in love with him for some time now, but had been too stupid to notice, or would it be better to just offer his help should Dick need it? Or should he let Dick bring it up himself? What if Dick found the thought of being with Lew in that way more horrifying than doing it with someone else or even working through his heat on his own?

Out of cowardice, maybe, Lew decided on the last option, but Dick never said a word. They talked strategy and complained about Dike and the swill that was supposed to pass for coffee, slept next to each other in their foxhole, but never said a word about the suppressants. Maybe none of them truly believed that they would stay alive long enough for it to really become a problem.

When the clouds lifted on December 22nd and air support moved in to drop their much-needed supplies, a heavy weight lifted off Lew’s shoulders as well. He answered Dick’s relieved smile with one of his own before heading back into town to talk to Sink.

While the threat of Dick going into heat had been averted, Nix’s newly discovered feelings didn’t go away. On the contrary, with each day and night he spent next to Dick, knowing it could be their last, watching Dick’s shaking and coughing and doubting getting worse and worse, the need to wrap Dick into himself, to hold him and help him and feel him grew stronger and stronger.

On Christmas Eve, when Dick had finally slipped into their foxhole, probably having personally tucked in every single trooper under his command, Lew could no longer keep himself from doing the same to Dick.

“Come on, come here,” he urged Dick after having grumbled an appropriate amount of time about the loss of heat he’d so carefully built up, lifting a corner of the blankets he’d been hiding under. When Dick made to settle a couple of inches away from him, Lew took his helmet off and drew him closer, until Dick’s head was lying on his shoulder, his breath hot on Lew’s neck and Lew’s arm wrapped tightly around Dick’s middle.

He expected some sort of protest from Dick, but the man just melted into him like it was all that he’d wanted to do all day, too.

“Thanks Nix,” Dick mumbled against his neck. “This is nice.”

“Yeah, okay, Dick. Merry Christmas.”

Dick chuckled before falling silent, his breath gradually evening out.

It took every ounce of self-control Lew possessed to wait until he was sure Dick had fallen asleep to press a gentle kiss into his red hair, before settling down himself, feeling the warmest he’d been in a very long time.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit later than planned, but here's chapter 2. Thank you all for commenting on the last one, I loved hearing what you thought so far! And a big thank you to Muccamukk for beating this into a readable shape.

The heat under the covers was boiling. When Lew flipped them back, Dick’s scent hit him full force and he finally understood what was happening. His heart rate picked up as he extended his hand to carefully brush back a sweaty lock of hair from Dick’s temple.

Dick leaned into his touch and tried to nuzzle Lew’s palm with his nose. With the state he was in, Dick must’ve felt his heat coming in for hours now.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Lew whispered. “Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“Thought you needed your beauty sleep,” Dick rasped, like it took him a great deal of effort to get the words out, but the little smile on his lips seemed to appear all on its own. 

Lew chuckled, endeared by Dick making jokes even now.

“Yeah? I’m starting to think you wanted to have all the fun by yourself,” he teased right back while shifting closer to Dick.

Dick met him in the middle, their knees bumping together as they both rolled on their sides.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Dick said and true to his word, his eyes shifted down to Lew’s lips.

Lew’s smile only widened in response.

“So what do you dream about?” he asked and reached out to caress Dick’s cheek.

Dick closed his eyes and pressed into his hand again. Then he seemed to decide that this simple touch was not enough, and shifted forward to kiss Lew, sweetly loving if brief , a promise of what was still to come. Lew’s eyes fluttered shut at the contact and he couldn’t help but move in for a second one right away, trying to pour all his affection into it, breathing out in a rush against Dick’s cheek, unable to contain the tenderness welling up inside him.

“This,” Dick said and kissed him again. “You and me, together. Making a baby.”

Lew’s eyes flew open at that, and the way Dick was looking in that moment – the light from the window hitting him just right, setting his hair aflame, deepening the blue in his eyes and making his skin glow – dealt the last blow to Lew’s ability to breathe.

Intellectually he knew of course that this was what they were setting up to do. But to hear Dick say it like that made it real in a way it hadn’t been before.

Dick generally didn’t talk as much during sex as Lew did, because Lew loved to talk and never ran out of things to say, but he had a knack of stating these little facts that drove Lew crazy - _Oh, I like that, Lew. No, keep your sweater on, the colour looks so good on you. I want to kiss you._ While Nix was fairly certain that Dick didn’t just say these things to please him, he seemed to know exactly what it did to him and to rejoice in it. Quite frankly, Lewis hadn’t thought he had it in him.

Not to be outdone, Lew reciprocated right away. He let his hand wander down Dick’s neck, over his shoulder and down his arm.

“You want that?” Lewis purred. “You want to get pregnant?”

Lew counted the full-body shiver that went through Dick in response as a full-fledged victory.

“ _Yes_ ,” Dick answered immediately. “It’s what we’ve both wanted for so long, isn’t it?”

“So long,” Lew repeated stupidly before moving in to kiss Dick again.

* * *

When they finally moved out of the Bois Jacques, Lew was certainly relieved to be back in civilization – or as close as the military got to it anyway – his flask and belly full and his fingers finally entirely operational again, but it also meant that he couldn’t cuddle Dick every night under the pretence of keeping warm.

Lew struggled with adjusting to the new distance that returning back to normal put between them. They really just went back to the way they were before, but with knowing what he knew now about his inner state, the old status quo felt inadequate, unsatisfying, even painful at times. To be so close, yet never close enough was a new kind of torture that made Lew hit the whiskey harder than ever before.

But even in his drunken stupor he couldn’t escape it – he just kept thinking and dreaming about Dick, alternating between picturing their glorious future together and imagining all the ways Dick could break his heart – breaking off their friendship if he ever found out how Lew felt, going off to marry someone else or, even worse, somehow getting his stubborn head blown off in the final stretches of the war. 

Telling Dick wasn’t an option. First, there was the issue that the army certainly wouldn’t look kindly upon two of its senior officers frolicking about instead of doing their jobs and another court martial would probably not be the best start into their relationship. There always was the option of secrecy, but even if Dick wasn’t the stickler for rules everybody seemed to take him for, he still wouldn’t like and might even not be able to keep something like that hidden. Though, if Lew was being honest with himself, that wasn’t the real problem. If he knew that he only had to bide his time, he’d gladly wait until the end of the war to lay it all down at Dick’s feet. Then they’d both be civilians again and could be together as they pleased. Maybe he could even take care of divorcing his wife without being cast out by his entire family in the meantime. But Lew did not know that. In fact, he was quite certain that someone like Dick could never love him back. And in that scenario, telling him would just be cruel to the both of them.

Instead, Lew threw himself at every distraction that presented itself – alcohol, gambling, the jump over the Rhine - but nothing was enough. Even in the moment before he jumped out of the burning plane, when he was certain that this was it, that he was going to die, all he could think about was Dick.

The words rose and rose closer to the surface until he could barely speak to Dick at all for fear of accidentally revealing himself. 

This went on until Dick found him the morning after they’d moved into Thalem, at 0700, still drunk and wide awake, terrified of what his dreams might bring him – burning to ashes in the German sky, the haunted eyes of people who had lived through unspeakable horrors, losing Dick or having him only to wake up and discover it wasn’t real.

“Sink wants a briefing at 0730,” Dick called from the doorway, having opened the door only a crack after a short rap against the door had drawn no answer from Lew.

He only fully entered the room, carefully closing the door behind him, when Lew still showed no reaction, staring into the flames dying in the fireplace before him.

“Nix?” he asked, slowly stepping closer, as if he was trying not to spook some frightened animal.

The comparison wasn’t all that off. With his tousled hair, wide eyes, dark shadows under his eyes, and his uniform a mess, Lew must’ve made a horrifying picture.

When he finally looked over at Dick, he expected to see disgust and contempt, but all he saw was worry and compassion before his vision blurred over.

He didn’t understand what was happening, his tired, drunken mind too foggy to realize that he was crying and he began to panic. He couldn’t see, he couldn’t breathe and he could only faintly hear Dick’s footsteps accelerating as he hurried over to the fireplace.

“Lew?” he asked again, this time more urgently. Then his hand was on Lew’s knee, and it burned right through his sluggish body, because he hadn’t been able to touch Dick in weeks, in _months_ and he’d missed it so much, missed _him._ Lew blinked and his vision cleared to reveal Dick kneeling before him and that was all wrong – Dick wasn’t supposed to be on his knees, he was – he was _everything,_ Lew didn’t want this, he wanted Dick to get _up._

“No,” he choked out, “no, you –“

But Dick didn’t let him finish.

“Shh, Lew, it’s alright. You’re okay. It’s just me, it’s Dick.”

That didn’t help Lew at all though, because of course he knew who Dick was, he was thinking about him _all the time_. He just wanted him to –

“You’re just drunk. I’ll get you a glass of water.”

And with that Dick finally got up and moved out of Lew’s field of vision to pour him a glass of water out of the pitcher standing on his nightstand.

Dick handed him the water glass – thankfully no piss involved this time – and Lew took a grateful gulp.

Dick now stood before him, arms crossed over his chest, seemingly out of ideas of what to do with him.

And Lew still couldn’t understand why Dick was putting up with this at all. He was vaguely aware of the fact that he kept staring at Dick like some clue to this eternal mystery might be hidden somewhere between his many freckles, until Dick shifted uncomfortably under his gaze.

“What is it, Lew?” he asked, still sounding nothing but patient and kind.

Lew’s eyes finally snapped up to his. The moment they connected, Lew felt it all rise up inside him again, and this time he didn’t have the strength to push it back down.

“Don’t you wish I was different?” he asked, but what he really wanted to know was: _Do you love me?_ That was about as close as he could afford to get.

Dick seemed taken aback by his question, shifting his weight from one foot to another, his mouth opening and closing several times as if he was rejecting several answers in turn.

Lew already regretted ever having opened his mouth. How _stupid_ of him to ask Dick such a thing instead of counting his lucky stars that Dick still wanted him around at all, seemingly unaware of his many faults.

“I wish you’d be kinder to yourself,” Dick finally said and stopped for a breath, but then more words were bubbling out of him without his explicit permission, judging by the look on his face. “I wish you’d let me in again. I wish you’d let me take care of you.” 

“What?” Lew asked stupidly, unable to comprehend what Dick was saying, and unable to formulate a more eloquent answer to it.

“You’ve been growing more and more distant ever since Belgium like – like eventually you couldn’t even bear talking to me anymore.” Dick looked truly upset now, brows knitted together, knuckles turning white as he tightly gripped his own forearms, as he asked: “Did I do something wrong?” 

And Lew couldn’t have that. He hated seeing Dick upset, hated even more being the cause of it, and he simply couldn’t let Dick think that _he_ had done something wrong, that Lew somehow didn’t like him anymore because of it.

“No!” he protested, the volume of his voice making his own hungover head ache. “No, it’s not that – you didn’t. You could never – I just. I -“

Really, Lew had no idea how he was supposed to make Dick understand that Lew could _never_ hate him, without making him understand how much Lew loved him, too. He needed time to sober up and make the words work right for him again.

Only Dick didn’t seem particularly inclined to give him that time. Lew really shouldn’t be surprised, Dick had always been particularly stubborn about getting things done right away, especially if they were important to him, not tolerating any kind of delay. It was actually one of the first quirks Lew had noticed about him and even now a part of him couldn’t help but think it one of his most winning qualities.

“You what, Lew?” Dick asked, and Lew knew that there was no way out anymore – that there never really had been and that the only thing left to do was to forge ahead, potential heartbreak and punch in the face be damned.

“I love you,” he said, plain as day, as if it wasn’t the scariest thing he’d ever said. “I’m in love with you. I don’t know, I always might’ve been, but I didn’t realize until we were in Bastogne and ran out of these damn suppressants. And suddenly I was thinking about you in that way and I realized that – that I want it. Like, not there, not when you didn’t have a choice but – You know, I always thought you were my best friend. But you’re more than that. I can’t stop thinking about you, I can’t stop dreaming about you. I just want to hold you and care for you and –“

Realizing he was rambling, he stopped abruptly and felt himself turn an intense shade of red.

“Sorry,” he mumbled and ducked his head.

The ticking clock hanging on the wall behind Dick filled the resounding silenced that stretched out between them. Lew couldn’t bring himself to look at Dick, too afraid of what his face might reveal. The urge to flee the room was strong, but Lewis couldn’t really see the point in delaying the inevitable and so he stayed put, awaiting Dick’s judgement.

“You love me?” Dick asked eventually, and there was so much going on in his voice that Lew could hardly identify all the emotions mixing together: surprise, confusion, wonder, maybe even a bit of panic.

“Yeah,” Lew affirmed, because there was no sense in denying it now. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to tell you. I know it isn’t fair to burden you with it.”

Lew finally chanced a glance at Dick, just in time to see him shake his head in defiance.

“It’s not – Lew, you could never be a burden to me.”

And he sounded so earnest saying it that Lew had a really hard time not getting his hopes up. Dick was probably just trying to go about this as gracefully and painlessly as possible, but Lew thought it would be kinder if Dick told him straight away that sadly he did not feel the same way about Lew, that he would cover for him at Sink’s meeting and leave him to lick his wounds in peace. He just wanted to get this over with.

“Yeah? I thought I was doing a pretty good job of it right now.”

Dick sighed and shook his head again, this time more in frustration than anything else, then started ruffling through his hair, a clear sign that he really didn’t know what to do.

Eventually, Lew took pity on him.

“It’s okay, Dick. You don’t have to say anything. I know it’s a lot.”

He even forced out a small smile as to reassure Dick.

Dick did something weird with his lips in response. It was probably supposed to be a responding smile but looked more like an involuntary muscle spasm.

“Yeah,” he said slowly. “I think – I need some time. To think. And you need to get sober and presentable or Sink will have both our heads on a stick.”

“Oh no, we can’t have that,” Lew droned in response, somewhat relieved to fall back into their well-known banter. Maybe all wasn’t lost yet.

“No,” Dick said as he retreated back towards the door. “See you soon, Lew.”

And then he was gone.


	3. Chapter 3

They were quickly getting carried away. It lay in the nature of things, after all. With Dick having already slow-cooked in his heat for a few hours before Lew had even woken up, the state he was in certainly had its desired effect on Lew’s physiology.

Still, Lew had hoped to go about the whole thing with a bit more… finesse. He had read enough books about omegas, their heat, the relationship between alphas and omegas, the mating process and everything in between, and he’d wanted to put his acquired knowledge to good use, to make sure that he did right by Dick. 

It had been a strange role reversal: During their time in the army, Dick had always been stuck with his nose in one field manual or another while Lew mostly played things by ear. This time, Dick had looked on with fond amusement as Lew brought home one guidebook after another, studying them each night by the fire, underlining whole passages and compiling checklists for what needed to be done before, during and after Dick was pregnant, while Dick hardly seemed to worry at all.

Once, when Lew had questioned him on this uncharacteristic lay-back attitude, Dick had simply shrugged.

“I trust you. I trust us. I trust that things will go the way they’re supposed to.” 

Then he’d continued munching on his apple until Lew’s sceptically raised eyebrow prompted him to say more.

“I guess the difference is that war, while there is a certain logic to it, and I guess I was kind of good at… playing my part in it, was not something that came to me naturally. But this… I’m ready. I feel that we’re ready. We’ve thought this through, we’ve gotten a bit of practice in, we’re in a good place in our lives to make it happen.”

He’d made a broad hand gesture as if to encompass everything from the house around them, over the warmth from the fireplace, his feet in Lew’s lap, to the Australian Shephard dozing on the rug by the sofa.

Lew couldn’t help but smile at the home they’d made for themselves, at his husband who, even after all the darkness he’d seen in the world, seen in _him,_ still believed in the good in it.

“Urgh, if I’d known you were such a sap, I would’ve thought twice about marrying you,” he’d said to Dick, even though he’d felt more than a little sappy himself.

Dick had chuckled and wriggled his toes, making the book in Lew’s lap ( _The Expectant Alpha_ ) shake and Lew lose his page in the process. Lew had flicked at Dick’s big toe in annoyance, flipped through the book to find where he’d left off and settled down once again to continue his reading. Because, he’d thought to himself, while he enjoyed Dick’s sentiment, he’d be damned if he didn’t make sure to go into it all as prepared as possible.

The trouble was that now, as he way lying on top of Dick, kissing him breathless, his hand under Dick’s soaked pyjama top, Dick’s hands sliding over his arms, his back, Lew couldn’t think at all. He could only feel, rock helplessly against Dick, and the sounds Dick was making deep in his throat certainly weren’t doing anything to make him calm down. In fact, he was getting so excited he was starting to fear he might come before even getting any of their clothes off, and at least a little part of him was still coherent enough to realize how that would’ve been quite beside the point. 

Since slowing down wasn’t really an option, he was just about to wrestle Dick out of his shirt when something big and heavy landed on his back.

Lew let out an undignified _oof_ as several paws vindictively stepped over his backside and a cold snout nuzzled his overheated neck, presumably trying to get to Dick. 

“Suse!” Lew whined and tried wiggling the overexcited Aussie off his back. He only succeeded by rolling off Dick. Susie immediately saw her window of opportunity and climbed all over Lew to get to Dick, barking at him and enthusiastically licking his face, obviously trying to get him out of bed.

Lew groaned. He should’ve thought of that. With the state he was in, there was no way Dick had gotten up at the crack of dawn to take Susie on their morning run. No wonder the poor girl was this wound up.

With a sigh, Lew got out of bed and went over to the other side of the bed to help Dick, who was struggling to rein their dog in.

“Come on, come on girl,” he said, and Susie looked over from Dick to him, cocking her head in confusion. Though they did sometimes go together, it was usually Dick who took her out in the morning, while Lew was responsible for the midday and evening walks.

“Come on, let’s go outside.” Susie’s ears perked up at the word _outside_ and eventually, she leapt off Dick and joined Lew by the bedside, tail wagging in excitement.

Lew grimaced at Dick who still looked a bit dazed, hair a mess, his pyjama top rucked up, skin flushed red. Lew didn’t want to know what kind of picture he made. Even if the sudden canine attack had taken care of his… excitement, what they’d been doing must’ve been all over him.

“I’ll just quickly take her into the garden, alright? Don’t you go anywhere,” he said and only waited for Dick to nod in affirmation before he was down the stairs, through the kitchen and out the backdoor into the enclosed garden, Susie hot on his heels.

Lew let her run around a bit, do her business, then threw her a couple of balls, shivering the whole time because he’d forgotten to put his slippers and robe on.

“Alright, girl,“ he said, when the cold and the desire to get back to Dick began to get unbearable, “you stay here for a little while, okay?”

Susie whined and pushed her nose into his palm as he turned around to get back into the house.

His heart melting, Lew crouched down and scratched her behind the ears.

“I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you, alright? We’ll take the long way ‘round, and I’ll let you sniff at anything you want, yeah?”

Susie wagged her tail in contentment and eventually took off to dig a hole under their apple tree, looking for who knows what.

Lew sighed – Dick certainly wouldn’t be pleased if he saw what she’d done to his immaculate lawn, but there was nothing to be done about it now, so he hurried back into the house, closing the kitchen door behind him. 

* * *

“I have questions.”

“Alright,” Lew said calmly, as if his heart weren’t in his throat, his whole body thrumming with nervous energy. Someone should give him an Oscar for his performance in this entire ordeal, he thought.

Lew was sitting on his bed, Dick pacing back and forth before him, having declined his invitation to take the chair Lew had been sitting in that very morning when he’d manoeuvred them into this very situation.

He’d spent the whole day sitting on hot coals, his head spinning from going over his confession, Dick’s reaction and all the things he should’ve done or said differently over and over again. Thankfully, Sink had kept him busy all day with a whole string of tasks that, though mundane, at least somewhat took his mind off things. He’d skipped lunch and had dinner with Harry and Kitty, who worriedly watched him as he pushed his potatoes around his plate, finally eating them just so the mess officer wouldn’t give him the stink eye. He’d declined their invitation to join them to play poker with Speirs and Lipton and instead went for a walk to wallow in his pain while taking in the breath-taking scenery like some Byronic hero.

He'd found Dick when he’d returned to his room, standing before the fireplace, looking at a notebook in his hands, which he quickly put away once he’d noticed Nix’s presence.

Dick looked nervous, more nervous even than he’d been the night before their first jump into Normandy. He kept alternatively wringing his hands behind his back or scratching his head, and hadn’t stopped pacing since Lew had entered the room, his lips pressed together in a tight line. Lew had no other choice but to wait him out until he finally started talking.

“I thought – you said you didn’t like being with omegas,“ Dick eventually stated. “What changed?”

Lew didn’t really remember saying that, at least not in Dick’s presence. Though there had been that drunken night, one of their last in Aldbourne before Operation Overlord, when he’d gotten into a fight with Buck. The omega lieutenant seemed to already have heard the whole alpha-Lewis-Nixon-III-from-Nixon-New-Jersey spiel before they were even formally introduced and was more than a little wary of him. Lew had at first been indulgent. Historically, men of his wealth and breeding didn’t tend to treat omegas well and were often stark supporters of the _omegas out of the army_ campaigns. In an effort to set Buck at ease, he’d shown him a picture of his beta wife and son, but then Buck had just spitefully said _What, Daddy couldn’t find you a willing omega wife? Bet he’s disappointed by the son, too._ Lew couldn’t remember what he’d said exactly but was pretty sure that he’d made it more than clear that he had no interest in taking an omega wife or in any omega at all for that matter, thank you very much. Buck had later apologized, and they’d both been very drunk, but their relationship has been on the rocks ever since. 

Apparently, Dick still remembered the whole ordeal, and now Lewis had some explaining to do.

“I don’t know what to tell you.” He shrugged helplessly. “I just never really saw the appeal of it, like some of the other alphas do. Honestly, the whole heat-business just always left a sour taste in my mouth. The thought of having someone share that with you that you didn’t really love…”

“But you said you loved me,” Dick stated.

“Yeah,” Lew repeated.

“And that changes things?”

“I guess, yeah.”

Dick’s pacing suddenly came to a stop.

“Lew, do you only want me as your omega?”

He sounded distressed, but Lew didn’t really understand what he was getting at.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean – do you want me to get off my suppressants? Do you want me to go into heat and stay at home and look after the kids?”

Lew felt like he’d been slapped. Had he really done such a bad job of explaining himself?

“No!” he cried immediately, vehemently shaking his head. “I didn’t mean that.”

Maybe babbling on about how he’d thought about Dick going into heat in Bastogne hadn’t been the smartest move.

“Of course I don’t want you to give up your career, give up being – being you. I just – I know I’m not supposed to say this, but I think I’d love you even if you were a beta or an alpha. I’d love you no matter what, and I’d take whatever you’d be willing to give me. Even if it’s just your friendship, Dick, that means – that still means the most to me.” 

He forced himself to look straight at Dick, to open himself up, lower all his defences and let Dick see how much he’d meant what he’d said.

“Alright,” Dick said after a beat, something in his eyes melting in response. “I’m sorry. I just had to make sure.”

“It’s okay,” Lew said, though he was growing increasingly restless. Dick still hadn’t really let on what he thought or felt, and though Lew knew that he owed this to Dick, to let him ask his questions and think it all over, take all the time he needed, it still wasn’t easy to just sit there and be patient while his whole life was hanging in the balance –

“Kathy,” Dick abruptly said, pulling Lew out of his thoughts.

“What about her?” Lew asked wearily.

“She divorced you. You were pretty upset when it happened –“

“She took the d - “

“- And don’t tell me it was all about the dog.”

Lew looked sheepishly at Dick. That damn man was too observant for his own good.

“Alright, it wasn’t all about the dog,” he admitted. “It’s not much fun to be told you were a shitty husband, and a shitty father. It’s not like I wanted to fail at it or that I didn’t care about them. I do. I just – I can’t be what they need me to be.”

“You didn’t love her.”

“No. I liked her, I was attracted to her and I thought she was the best I could hope for. I think she felt the same way about me. You know, people like me rarely marry for love. But it wasn’t enough in the long run.”

_Not once I’d met you_ , he wanted to add, but at a certain point you were just overdoing it with the love declarations, he thought. In many ways, Dick had irrevocably changed his life. If it hadn’t been for him, Lew would never have joined the paratroopers, would probably still be riding his desk with the MPs in California, far away from death and destruction. Maybe he’d have been able to keep his marriage intact, have Kathy move to California with him, instead of spending his rare weekends home wishing he was back in Georgia with Dick. Maybe that should’ve been a first giveaway of how he truly felt about his _best friend._ And to be so full of love now, to have someone else whose happiness and needs were far more important than his own – it had changed his very essence and Lewis knew he could never go back to the way he’d been before, no matter how Dick might feel about him in return.

“So where do you see us?” Dick asked and finally sat down on the bed next to Nix, though he still left some space between them. “In the long run.”

“Christ,” Lew muttered, running his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know. I still find it hard to even think of _after._ No matter how close we are to winning, it still seems so far away, just as far as _before.”_

Dick nodded in understanding.

_“_ But… I was hoping we could figure it out together. You know, if that’s something that you wanted.”

He couldn’t keep himself from throwing a hopeful glance at Dick, who was intently staring at the floral pattern of the covers they were sitting on, his fingers nervously pulling at some imaginary thread.

“Okay, Lew,” he eventually said, finally looking up and meeting his gaze head on, a tentative smile on his lips.

Lew forgot how to breathe, his heart beating wildly in his chest. Surely he couldn’t mean –

“I, uh – I guess I’ve had feelings for you for a long time now. You know, I always used to keep more to myself. Most people just get a little too much for me after a while and I like having some time alone. But – even in OCS, I missed you every time you went away on a weekend pass. There was literally nothing you didn’t instantaneously make better with your presence.”

Dick was blushing like crazy, but he seemed intent on getting it all out in the open now. Lew just listened on, too stunned to say anything.

“When you left for Fort Ord, I was heartbroken. Once I got your letter that you were going to join the 506th and had been assigned to Easy, I couldn’t stop smiling for days. Everybody could see it, the other officers kept teasing me relentlessly about it until I eventually took off to Toccoa.”

Poor Dick, he must’ve spent his last days in Camp Croft mortified by it all: the teasing, the scrutiny, his own perceived failure to focus on the job alone. As much as Lew felt sorry for him, he couldn’t help but wish he’d been there, if only to see Dick turn that lovely shade of red that clashed beautifully with his freckles.

“One time on a field exercise I was so busy plotting how I could make sure I could share a tent with you that I almost led second platoon straight into the river. Thankfully Lip was there to screw my head on straight.”

Dick shook his head, still exasperated at his past love-struck self.

“I felt so bad, I was furious at myself. There I was, mooning over some alpha when I was supposed to do my job, proving everyone right who said that omegas weren’t supposed to be in the army, much less be allowed to go to OCS. From then on, I made sure it didn’t affect my duties.”

“Fucking bigots,” Lew snorted. “Those who say shit like that are the same people chasing after every pretty omega in a five-mile radius, whether they're on duty or not.”

“Doesn’t excuse what I did, though,” Dick insisted and though Lew knew now was not the time to take up that particular fight, he couldn’t just let that stand.

“Dick, you’re the best officer Easy Company’s ever had,” he said earnestly. “Even if you were sometimes distracted by this handsome, strong, dreamy –“ 

“Alright, alright,” Dick laughed.

“- no one could blame you for that.”

Lew was laughing, too. He’d never imagined that Dick could feel the same for him, that he’d been mooning over him all this time. He still couldn’t quite believe it.

“Why didn’t you ever say something?” he asked.

Dick shrugged.

“You were married. Besides, it’s not like we could have done anything about it without one or both of us losing our positions. Then you told Buck you didn’t like omegas, and I was sure you didn’t feel the same way. I tried so hard to get over you, told myself it was just some stupid crush. That I should be happy just to have you as my friend…”

Some of that sounded pretty familiar to Lew. God, they’d been so stupid.

“I had myself pretty convinced for a while there that I had it beat,” Dick continued. “But then you almost died in Holland, and in that moment when I thought I’d lost you, I knew that I – that –“

Dick took a deep, shaky breath, seemingly unable to go on. Lew remembered the fear in Dick’s eyes as he’d cradled his head, frantically searching for a wound, any sign that Lew had been hurt. He’d just been too shaken himself to truly understand what it all meant.

“I remember lying in my foxhole that night, right next to you, not sleeping a wink. I’d just lost so many of my men, Bull was missing, the whole operation was falling apart around us. But most of all I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I’d never felt like this about anyone, and it scared me to death. I just kept thinking about what I’d do if I lost you for real, and I couldn’t even imagine –“

Again, he broke off and this time Lew couldn’t resist. Slowly, so that Dick had the time to move away if he wanted to, he lifted his hand to let it fall on Dick’s knee, squeezing gently.

Dick gave him a crooked smile, blinking up at him through the tears that had formed in his eyes. Then he let his own hand drop on Lew’s where it was resting on Dick’s knee.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is that I –“

He faltered again, looking down at their joined hands, struggling with getting the words out. Lew turned his hand around, his palm now against Dick’s so he could intertwine their fingers.

Dick kept taking deep breaths, then he looked up again at Lew and waited for him to look up, too. And really, he didn’t have to say anything, because Lew finally _knew,_ he could see it written all over Dick’s face and -

“You’re what got me through this war, and I don’t want to go through life without you.”

Lew was absolutely powerless to stop the broad smile that broke out across his face. He couldn’t remember ever being happier than in this moment, holding hands with the person he loved, the best man he’d ever known, telling him he loved him, too.

“Dick –, “ he said, lost for words. He couldn’t keep his eyes from flickering down to Dick’s lips again and again, couldn’t stop thinking about what it would be like to kiss him.

“Can I –, “ he started to ask, because even now he didn’t want to do anything without being absolutely sure that Dick wanted it, too.

“Yes,” Dick breathed before he could even finish his sentence, “please.”

And then they were both leaning in. Dick had already closed his eyes, but Lew wanted to keep his open, wanted to see each individual freckle adorning Dick’s cheekbones, his nose. But when their lips finally touched, so carefully, so tenderly, he couldn’t keep them from fluttering shut. It felt like his insides were liquified, everything coming undone in a rush, rearranging and reforming into something new, carrying Dick’s name.

Lew had kissed plenty of people, but it had never felt like this simple press of lips against lips. The difference, he thought, was that he’d never kissed anyone he loved like he loved Dick before. He brought the hand that wasn’t still holding Dick’s up to gently cup his jaw, brushing his thumb over his cheeks. At that, Dick sighed into the kiss, and Lew took his now open mouth as an invitation to deepen the kiss, brushing his tongue against Dick’s.

Using their intertwined hands, Dick pulled Lew closer to him and Lew willingly followed, his knee bumping into Dick’s thigh, his upper body hovering a bit awkwardly over Dick’s until they eventually toppled over, Lew now lying halfway on top of Dick.

Lew could feel Dick’s laughter against his lips, then Dick slid his hand into Lew’s hair and Lew moaned unabashedly into Dick’s mouth. He let his hand wander down Dick’s throat, over his shoulder, his chest, down his side, wishing he could feel Dick’s skin, be even closer, be inside him. He moaned again at the thought and left Dick’s mouth to kiss his chin, his jaw, behind his ear, his hand before pressing it down into the covers beside Dick’s head.

“God, Dick, you are so beautiful,” he said when Dick opened his eyes, his pupils blown, a storm raging in his blue irises. Then he moved in again to kiss around Dick’s eyes, his temple, his cheekbones, his forehead.

“I’ve wanted to do this for ages,” Dick offered, sliding his hand down Lew’s back, making him shiver. “But I – I’ve –“

At Dick’s hesitation, Lew stopped kissing him and pushed up on his elbow to take a good look at Dick’s face.

“What is it?” he asked, worriedly looking for any sign that Dick might be uncomfortable.

“I uh, I – I’ve actually never done this before,” Dick admitted, blushing furiously. “And I – I’d like to wait until the proper time. To, uh. Have sex.”

“You want to wait till marriage to have sex?” Lew asked, a bit incredulous, though he really should’ve expected it, what with the whole Mennonite-from-Pennsylvania package he’d stupidly fallen in love with.

“Well, yes,” Dick affirmed, frowning at Lew, who was at that point struggling not to laugh. “Please don’t –“

“No, I’m sorry, Dick, I’m sorry,” Lew apologized. “You’re right, I shouldn’t make fun. I’m sorry.”

He moved into a sitting position once more, tugging Dick up with him.

“I was just a bit surprised there. It’s okay. Anything you want, Dick.”

He carded his fingers through his own roughed up hair, trying to come down from all the excitement. Dick really had done a number on him. Maybe a cold shower would be a good idea.

“Besides, I don’t think I locked the door. Would be awkward if Zielinski caught us canoodling –“

“- canoodling, is that what we were doing?” Dick snorted, eyebrows raised sceptically.

“Yes, I think so,” Lew said, pretending to think hard about it, “but maybe we should repeat the experience sometime to make sure?”

“For science,” Dick asserted.

“Haven’t you heard: you have to repeat an experiment many times to make sure it’s valid,” Lew confirmed.

“They taught you that at Yale?” Dick snarked, his grin steadily growing wider.

“That and many other great things.”

“I won’t believe it till I see it.”

“I’ll show you,” Lew promised. “Just you see.”

**Author's Note:**

> There'll be 5 or 6 chapters to this and I think I'll do weekly updates. Please comment and tell me what you think so far. 
> 
> Also I'm in dire need of a beta reader, so if anyone would be up to the task, please message me!


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